You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. So says motivational guru Jim Rohn. It makes sense. I live with a teenager and a Golden Retriever, and I am powerless over french fries and tennis balls. Now I know why.
On a serious note, Rohns theory can throw a ratchet in my gears. Ive spent most of my life learning how to spell the word boundaries with my actions. I belong to a fellowship which emphasizes minding my own business, and I do my best to stay on my own side of the street and to keep my metaphorical fences in place with respect and kindness. My life has vastly improved since learning this skill. Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships. And yet, on another level, there is only one of us here.
Dr. Masaru Emoto is the Japanese scientist who became famous for his studies on how thoughts and words affect water. He calls the vibrational energy of our thoughts and feelings hado, and he has conducted many experiments demonstrating the effects of our hado on transforming the shapes of water molecules. Positive words create beautiful patterns, and negative ones appear to create deformities.
His findings became popular through the movie What the Bleep Do We Know and inspired many people to look at how their thoughts and words affect themselves. We are, after all, mostly water. But if what Rohn says is true, Dr. Emotos studies explain why we are the average of the five people with whom we spend the most time. Our thoughts, words, and actions affect not only ourselves, but everyone around us on a cellular level, at the level of water. This means, you literally have the power to impact the molecules in someone elses body. I would not take this lightly.
Because we all resonate at a vibrational level with our surroundings, it is essential that we surround ourselves with positive energy, with positive influences. Nature is the best example I know. When you are in nature, on a trail or at the ocean, dont you feel more peaceful and at ease? This would make sense. Nature is always in alignment with natural laws, so the resonance is healthy.
But when we surround ourselves with negativity, whether it be the news, gossip, or your own internal critic, your water molecules respond and become less healthy. Unless you have the constitution of a saint, you are probably affected. What if we began to take these findings seriously and consider the impact of our words and actions on others at a more quantum level? What if even our hidden thoughts and actions affect each other?
Here is an example. I feel uncomfortable with a habit of someone dear to me. The behavior has no direct impact on my life that I can see, and I consider my discomfort to be my problem, my side of the street. However, when I explained how I felt, I received a surprising response: Of course my habits are your business. They affect you.
In that moment, I became simultaneously aware of two thoughts. First, I have no reference point in my life for this level of consideration. Ive worked long and hard to accept full responsibility for my life. I had no idea that by sharing my feelings, someone might consider adjusting their private habits to make me feel more comfortable. This was a genuine gesture of caring. Second, I felt a profound inspiration to be the most beautiful human being I could possibly be, if for no other reason than to have the most positive affect on every molecule of water in his body. I felt a deep calling to be of service to his joy and to live at this level of oneness and communal responsibility.
All of this makes me wonder, to what extent am I my brothers keeper? My son is certainly affected by my behavior, even at the mercy of it at times. And my dog, too. They live with me. But for others with whom I spend a good deal of time...what is my responsibility to them? What would life be like if I walked in the awareness that every thought, word, and deed impacted the very cells of the people in my life?
I dont have the answer. I am living the question. Perhaps it will be different for everyone. There was a time when I could not have entertained thoughts of this level of responsibility for another without confusing it with codependency. I had to get my boundaries in order first. Now, I have enough clarity to recognize my body signals and to hear my intuition, so I wont do something that would not be in my best interest.
I like the idea of considering my energetic impact on the world. We all have it. Think about how the energy shifts when someone walks into the room. For better or worse, you are impacted. What energy do you bring? How can you take care of yourself and be a blessing everywhere you go?
The world I am dreaming into being includes each persons highest good while simultaneously interacting in a way that demonstrates compassion, respect, and service. I want to be that change. I know we can do it. Perhaps if we each resonate at our own highest frequency, we can create an entire community of higher vibration. Maybe even a whole world. You make a difference. Choose wisely.